Shopping Day
by EmbellishedTruth
Summary: Itachi and Deidara go shopping for groceries... with explosive results. ItaDei. Onshot.


**AN: Hello again everyone! I have another story for you today! I hope you enjoy it  
**

**P.S. Thank you to everyone who reviewed 'Clay Figurine', I was so surprised by the responses. **

**Disclaimer: No ownage of Naruto or the characters. **

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The supermarket never really stood a chance.

Itachi shifted his weight and better balanced the shopping basket on his hip. His hand reached up and adjusted the sunnies which were covering his trademark sharingan eyes. His attention was drawn to Deidara, dressed in a black jumper and jeans, who was crouched by the courgettes. The blonde was holding a mobile phone to his ear with a fingerless glove covered hand.

"Ah, Leader-sama, we're still shopping, yeah," Deidara spoke into the phone as Itachi's bored gaze roamed the supermarket in search of something more interesting than the vegetable-seeking blonde, "ah, so, how many cucumbers did you want again?"

Itachi remembered, with a sigh, why he hated going grocery shopping.

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"Why don't you ever write a shopping list?" Itachi trailed after Deidara who was currently packing mushrooms into a paper bag, "you have the worst memory of anyone I know."

Deidara 'hmph'ed and dropped the bag into Itachi's shopping basket, "I don't like shopping lists...yeah. And I do _not_ have a bad memory."

The two missing-nins passed through the vegetable section and into the fruits. Three, small, excitable and thoroughly annoying children pushed past them and the ex-Konoha ninja considered all the ways of killing them.

"Itachi! Are you even listening to me, yeah?!"

Itachi looked back to the annoyed blonde, "hn?"

"I asked if you had picked up the limes, yeah," Deidara scowled and flipped his hair off his shoulder in annoyance. It an immature habit Deidara had never got out of.

The raven-haired ninja scanned the contents of the basket and assessed the situation.

"Yes, I picked up the limes. But, you didn't pick up breakfast cereal a few aisles back," Itachi looked up to be greeted by a sour face from Deidara which clearly read 'don't blame me'. The blonde brushed past Itachi heading back to pick up the missing cereal. Itachi watched him turn the corner and disappear from his line of vision.

The dark-haired ninja moved to collect some delicious-looking plums.

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Deidara turned the corner so fast he felt his hair whip across his face. He would pick up the cereal and head as fast as possible back to Itachi – whom he did not trust to be alone in a supermarket. _Why did Leader-sama insist I take him anyway?!_ Deidara questioned silently. He came to the 'cereal, breads and health snacks' aisle and headed down it.

Just as he reached the shelf on which Happy Healthy Breakfast Cereal Yay!™ rested, a hand reached out and snapped up the last box. Deidara scowled and faced the person to whom the offending hand was attached.

"Kabuto, I should have known, yeah. Hand over that cereal, you fiend!"

The silver-haired sound ninja slid his glasses to the bridge of his nose, catching the light as her performed the characteristic move.

"And what if I don't?" he murmured quietly.

Deidara's eyes narrowed. "I'll tell Orochimaru you slept with Sasuke, yeah," he hissed. Kabuto's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"Y-you wouldn't dare spread that sort of slander," Kabuto tried to sound confident, but failed to sound anything than a little fearful.

"Try me, four-eyes," Deidara hissed, reaching for his mobile.

"I'll fill you full of kunai before you get the chance!" Kabuto flung a handful of shuriken at Deidara who gracefully dodged to the side. The blonde ninja avoided a punch aimed for his face before planting a foot in Kabuto's chest. The sound-nin hit the shelves behind him and made the boxes above him fall like rain.

----

By now, Itachi had come to find out where Deidara had gotten to, only to find the Akatsuki member, gloves off, hair mussed and a gash on his face where he'd been hit by a particularly sharp muesli-bar box. His opponent looked no better; one of the lenses of his glasses was smashed, the sleeve of his right arm had completely vanished and yet, in his left hand he still possessively clutched a battered box of Happy Healthy Breakfast Cereal Yay!™

Deidara pointed straight at Kabuto. "That's it! I've had enough, yeah!" the blonde revealed a lump of explosive clay. Kabuto's eyes widened and Itachi sighed deeply.

"Deidara," he began, taking a step forward, "don't be so drastic. Just let it go."

Deidara swung around to face Itachi, looking wild and ready to do something insane.

"He took my cereal!"

"Just let it go, Deidara! It's a box of cereal!"

"It's mine! He. Took. My. Cereal. Yeah!"

"Deidara, stop being melodramatic! Put down the clay and let's just go," Itachi swiped his sunglasses from his face revealing wheeling red sharingan eyes. Deidara pouted.

"Fine!" he tossed the clay against the ground and flicked his hands into the appropriate seal.

Yes, the supermarket never really stood a chance against the two missing-nins.

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Epilogue.

"Deidara, how can you be such a monumental IDIOT!!" The Leader of the Akatsuki wasn't known for exploding so viciously at his employees. Then again, supermarkets also didn't usually explode.

Deidara and Itachi were sitting on the pavement in front of a pile of rubble and settling dust once known as a supermarket. Kabuto was lying unconscious just behind them. The Leader was getting a headache and it was only 10 in the morning. He sighed and indicated to the black car behind him.

"Just get in the car you too. And take Kabuto with you. Kakuzu might be able to sell him back to Orochimaru for a reasonable amount. If we're lucky."

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**AN: I'm not really sure you can consider this an ItaDei fic, but it has both of them in it! xD **


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